Its cold......too cold

So I was all set to go to Walmart. Me and Brandon Hosch walked all the way out to D lot, crossed the frozen tundra that is wartburg campus and made it to Brandons car. The only problem, it wouldnt start. Brandon got in and turned the key and.....nothing.....not even lights from the battery. His car was COMPLETELY dead. I now began to get nervous about my own car, a 2004 Jeep Liberty with over 120,000 miles on it. When I got to my car, the lights for the battery and the radio came on, but it failed miserably to turn over. I wasnt truly disappointed though, considering it was -20 out at the time. At least my car showed some life, I mean, Brandons was done for. Hopefully if it warmed up 20 degrees then it would start, if not grudgingly. It never even occurred to me that on Thurs I would not be able to leave campus, that I would get stuck here. I called my mom and told her about the situation, and if Thurs rolls around she promised that somebody would pick me up if it is still struggling. Luckily at Wartburg, Security can give you a jump if you need it, so if the time comes and it fails, I can always count on them. Whatever the case, Iam getting home somehow on thurs. I dont care if I have to go through the seven circles of hell itself, I will get leave wartburg, and I will go home......hopefully.

All or nothing

There here, finals, and I cant wait for them to be over. I feel very well prepared for all of them, like even the worst I could possible do would be a B, yet Iam so nervous. Everybody is talking like they are a big deal and how hard they have been studying, but I have been approaching them like any other test, except studying a couple days in advance, something I never usually do. Hopefully I can close out this year on a high note, with some confidence heading into next year. It already feels like break is here, and I just want to go home, but I have four tough days left, so I have to stay focused and hope for the best. Thankfully, I have only one final per day and after wednesday, my hard ones are all over. I just have to keep it up, to maintain the same fire I had all year, and I will be able to say I'am officially a college student, my trial by fire will be over. This semester at Wartburg has been a constant challenge. I have had to be on my A game all year to keep up, and to not let any big assignments get past me. Calculus has been by far my most challenging course. I dont know why, but Calculus is such a hard subject to grasp. Many times throughout the year I have doubted my own abilities in that class, wondering if Iam really cut out for Pre-Medicine. If I hold on, and even pull off a B in that class, I will be happy, because it has taken everything for me to succeed in that class. All throughout high school I was told how hard Calculus was to grasp, and even that I would not be able to handle it. If I pass this class, in my mind I will have silenced all those doubts. I will have taken my weakness head on, and succeeded. Just four more days left, its all or nothing.

Last full week

I really cant wait for this week to be over. When this week is done, I will be done with one class, and have three tests to take before hitting the dusty trail: one major calc test, and two normal non-stressful chem and bio tests. I;am really excited to get the week started, and to finish up my major IS paper and presentation. thankfully, iam nearly done with my paper and the presentation is shaping up to be unique and entertaining. As far as Calculus goes, all I can do is study and pray, nothing more, nothing less. Right now, it seems like I have too much to do, but I know that as the week progresses and I get more done I will start to feel better. To me, this is crunch time, this is when most college kids fold up and ruin all the hard work they have put in over the year with one last terrible test. These finals can completely ruin a persons grade, and I do not want to get my grade at the end of the semester and wish I had done better. With things as they are, I feel like I will finish the year with 3 A's and a B, but you never know what can happen. Overall, I will be disappointed if I dont finish that way, so Iam putting my best foot forward to get things done this week. The way I see it, with my current study/work method, i get to bed at 11, dont start working on stuff till after dinner, and still get everything done, so if worst comes to worst I can always stay up late, work in between classes, work after calculus until dinner, the list goes on and on. In summary, Im definitely nervous about the week, but that little voice inside me tells me everything will be just fine.

Cross Country end of the year football (and the pain im in)

On Saturday, at 8:01 am, the annual intersquad tackle football match between the upper and lower classmen on the cross country team began. Cross country athletes, going toe to toe on the frozen tundra of wartburg's football field fighting for glory, bragging rights, and in the case of freshman battling just not to sustain a major injury. All week long the trashtalking was going on (we didnt mean any of it, it was all in good fun), and my place on the underclassmen team was guaranteed. We knew the upperclassmen would take the biggest, strongest sophomores to even the lineups and on game day they selected josh hones and parker comentino, two guys you do not want to see coming at you full speed. When the game began, I took my spot on the line, as lack of real catching skills pretty much guaranteed I would stay there the whole game. Our line took some time to develop a rhythm, but when the first half ended and we found ourselves down by a touchdown (thanks to a score on defense by us), and with hope that perhaps the game would be closer than first thought. But as the second half got under way something happened, our line began to systematically dominate their line!!! Every play, we managed to break somebody free for a shot at the quarterback, and because of this the upperclassmen never managed to get an offense going. Then, we made huge plays on defense, one pick six, and a fumble recovery returned for a touchdown followed by a successful two point conversion put us up by 10 with less than a half an hour to go. The upperclassmen were appalled, they couldnt figure out why they could get nothing going on offense. The snowy conditions definitely helped us, as they constantly tried to air the ball out, to no avail. In the end, we won, thanks to three huge defensive touchdowns (one offensive) and big key stops, for the second time in the history of the tradition, the freshman/sophomore team won the football game. This morning, i couldn't put on my shoes without sitting, and it hurts not only to type this message but also to laugh, or breathe sharply, if you saw me walking you would think i had been in a car accident, but it was all worth it.

Benning Piece

In reflection on the Benning piece, it surprised me somewhat to see the classification of Wartburg among colleges from a religion standpoint. I always saw Wartburg as a rather religious school, with faith being a big part of students lives. In some regards it is, but overall the school does have a very secular feel to it. I of course like this feeling, the idea that you can be religious but not do so openly. Faith has always been a big portion of my life, but it is not something I like talking about with other people. For me, faith is deeply personal, and not something I talk about with others. I really don't feel that this is a problem in any way. Even among other aspects of life, my family has always been rather "keep to ourselves". We dont really have many people that we are good friends with, just ourselves. We are a very close family, and in some way I feel like we are different than other people, and maybe thats why we havent really met many people that we really "hit it off with". A lot of that has to do with the fact that we came from a larger city to a smaller town. People are so fundamentally different in small towns compared to bigger cities, so perhaps that is why we never really connected with anybody in small town Algona.

Being back.....

Now that Ive had a few days to relax and gain some better perspective, Iam excited to start this week. I didnt realize last week but there is very little time left until the end of the semester! I have one project, one big test, and everything else is business as usual. With not even three weeks to go, I can't believe that I will be back home sooner than I know it. This next week is going to be crunch time for me, I plan to complete my IS paper and get started on the final presentation. If all goes well, I will have the paper completed a week ahead of time with an entire week to revise. As far as my other classes, Calculus is hit or miss. Iam doing everything that I can, and right now all i can do is hope that I survive the semester with a B or higher. That is my goal, this class as been one of the hardest I have taken and at this point I just want it to be over. For Bio and Chem, from what I have heard there are no scary end of the year tests or projects, just a lab poster which my group and I just happened to complete last week!!! Getting away from Waverly for a while really helped me to get some much needed rest and recharge for the final push to the finish. If all goes well, I will finish out the semester with 3 A's, and probably one B, thanks to my horrible calculus skills.

National Meet

This past saturday, a lot of events collided into one day here at Wartburg. We had a nationally important football game, a basketball game, and the Division 3 National Championship Cross Country meet. I spent most of my time at the cross country meet, wearing a badge labeled "official" and herding people out of the starting area like I was cool. It did feel pretty cool, I felt like I was somehow contributing to the performances by directing spectators away from the start, thereby allowing runners to warm-up unhindered. I got so into it that I told one specific old guy to politely go to the side like all the others, when I did he just looked at me like I was an idiot and kept walking by me, eventually asking me what I was doing there. Logan then came over and told me he was allowed to go by because of his pass, the only problem was that his pass looked like all the other ones I was now told to clear out as well, the guy eventually said that he was in charge of the whole meet and I felt like a total idiot. Aside from feeling like a total moron, on one hand I was kinda mad too. 1) How was I supposed to know who the old geyser was? 2) Why didn't he mention that when I first said something? As if he assumed everybody knew who he was. Why did he just walk by me just a jerk? I obviously had an "official" badge on. Overall, I was mad, felt like and idiot, and decided to just forget the whole incident and never stop old guys ever again.

One final effort

Before thanksgiving break, before four and a half days of rest, before seeing my family and eating some good home cooking, I have to 1) take a big bio test, 2) finish group calculus homework, and 3) meet with my bio lab group to get started on our microcosm final project. All of these things are colliding on the final days of school this week and all are things I cant blow off, I have to put full effort into them in order to help my grade. What I need this next three days is one last burst of effort, and tonight was a hell of a good start. I completed my calculus individual homework, got 3/4 of the group homework completed, and got some great studying in for my bio test. I'm more prepared then I have ever been for a bio test, and I can't wait to take it on tomorrow. The only thing i'am worried about is my microcosm, it is due the tuesday we come back, is worth 70 pts, and I have no clue how we are going to construct it due to the fact that nothing on building a giant poster has been discussed in class!! Hopefully my group members will know more than I do, as I have recieved no information on how to pull this off. Whatever the case, I have all day tuesday to work on it and I plan on using whatever time I need to get a good chunk of it done. One last burst, thats all I need, and I can go home and relax without worrying about any surprises waiting for me when I come back.

Getting Ready for the Debate

I have spent numerous hours preparing for this debate, but it still doesn't feel like enough. Contrary to what I believe my colleagues believe, this debate is going to be an uphill battle for the "Natural" side. There is a wealth of information and opinions out there that say that climate change is human influenced, but the information for the other side is not as easily found. Don't get me wrong, there is plenty of information out there that provides evidence for the "natural" argument, but finding it requires a little more detective work than the mainstream climate arguments. For example, when I type in "global climate change" into Academic Search Complete I find a wealth of information relating to the subject, but 75% is "opinion research" (as I call it) that simply examines existing research and then tries to get you (the reader) to believe that climate change is a major issue and is man made. Finding research that simply presents the data, without an opinion on what caused it, is difficult at best, as scientists always want to try to "explain" why things are the way they are, and in this case the mainstream belief is that it is all man-made. I hope that my colleagues are putting as much time into this as I'am, I have some valid arguments, but there is still so much to cover, so many potential arguments to rebuke, I feel like we have a long way to go. Hopefully everything comes together tomorrow, and who knows, maybe our opponents did not take as much time to prepare as I'am anticipating?

Homestretch

Very soon, thanksgiving will be here and I will happily make the two-hour drive back to algona to see my family. I can't wait to get home. The last couple weeks have just dragged on and I can't wait to be able go home for the second time all year. Ever since the fall break I have lost a lot of motivation for school, that coupled with the ending of the cross country season has me kinda drained. Hopefully the long thanksgiving break will give me an opportunity to recharge a little and get a better perspective on things. Usually after a long break from school I come back ready to rock so hopefully the same thing happens after thanksgiving. Another thing that will definitely help my motivation is my return to running. Ever since I strained my soleus I have been taking some much needed time off and I'm ready to get back to exercising again. I have an important winter ahead of me, and good training will set the tone for the very long track season ahead of me. I have big goals for track, and accomplishing those goals is going to take an above average commitment. I will half to greatly build on my existing speed, and build strength in my lower legs, this will help me avoid injury and regain the speed I had during track last year. Overall, I'm feeling pretty confident, and over the course of next week I will be thinking of one thing, THANKSGIVING BREAK!!!!

Being off

Ever since cross country ended I have noticed just a few mild changes to not only my schedule, but my body as well. 1) I require about an hour or more less sleep every night to function and have energy, 2) I have a lot more time to do homework during the week, 3) I eat much less, my appetite is nothing compared to what it was during the season, and 4) I'm very anxious to do something physical. Taking this time off and forcing myself to stop running has done wonders for my body. My soleus strain has become much better, and the shin splints that plagued me the last week of practice have subsided. With my body feeling better, I'm anxious to start exercising again this week. This is the time of the year I enjoy the most. There is no pressure, and I can train at my own pace, if I feel like taking it easy I can and if I feel like really pushing it during a workout I can. It also gives me the opportunity to start lifting and cross training again. I like to think of the summer and winter offseasons and times to "build up", where I build up my athletiscism and fitness to prepare for the "tear down" that occurs during the season. I always train well in the wintertime, and this winter will be much more intense than the winters I had in high school. I have a massive facility to train in, and I have much more free time to schedule workouts into. I also have a great base to start with, as I'm coming off of a fantastic cross country season. All in all, it is all downhill from here to the end of the semester.

Easier....or did I just adapt?

Schoolwork over the last couple weeks has taken a turn for the easy. I actually just enjoyed my first weekend where I didn't have anything big that I had to accomplish. Calculus is finally coming along well, and my grades in IS, Chem, and Bio are way higher than I expected them to be. I feel like the first term was way harder than this one is shaping up to be, and I don't know if thats because the classes are just getting easier, or if I'm just finally used to the workload, and so it seeems as if things are getting easier. Whatever the case, I'am going to enjoy this brief period of easyness because once the end of semester projects start knocking, it is going to be nothing but stress, stress, and more stress. Luckily all my teachers have already given me the assignments that are due at semester, making it much easier for me to plan out what I have to do. I can set checkpoints for myself between now and december, and formulate time tables for each class. I'm also looking forward to this semester being OVER! Next semester, I'am taking my first religion class ever and calculus will be a distant memory. Overall, all I have heard is that second semester Bio and Chem are much harder than the first, but then again, these are the same people that told me I would struggle to get B's in the first semester, so I'm taking what they say with a grain of salt. Hopefully, i continue the streak I'm on and don't  get complacent. I hope to continue my success so far and not check out early, but with cross country ended, and all this free time, things are definitely looking good.

Free Time? What is that?

Now that cross country is over, looking ahead, I have no clue what I'm going to do after class gets over at 3:35! Normally, I would run to my dorm room, grab my track clothes, and head to practice for a two hour sweat session, but now, I just don't know. For the first few weeks, the weeks I have to take off, I will probably hit the football field, and get ready for the end of the year football game amongst the guys on team. This will give me an opportunity to still be exercising, but on a much lighter note than running mileage. It will also give me an opportunity to revive some athletiscism. Doing nothing but running for a couple months really puts a damper on the other sports skills, I couldnt even catch or throw a football the other day! Luckily, my skills have not disappeared, and I did have one awesome catch in traffic followed by a perfect spiral! The skills are there, they just need to be revived. For now, my play will consist of random flashes of crazy athletiscism, followed by something very unathletic.

From an academic standpoint, the extra time will really help me plan out assignments a lot better. With the stresses of the season gone, I can solely focus on school without hopping into "champ mode" at 4 o clock every day. It also gives me some much needed nap time after classes if I'm really tired, instead of going to work out half empty, I can take a 20 min power nap and then go work out, the flexibility is endless! Maybe now I will be able to restart my thoughts a little bit, and think of college in a more positive light. A really big stressor has been lifted, and now I can breathe a sigh of relief.........until track season in February.

Conference, and the end of the season....

So the week was going great, classes were done, and I had two days to just kick back, relax, sleep, hang out with friends, and prepare mentally for the conference race, then I got sick. I was very mad when I went to bed wednesday night not feeling the same, I had the chills and my nose was starting to plug up. Then in the middle of the night I woke with a dry throat, nasty fever, and two plugged nostrils. I was mad to say the least, "Two days before conference, the biggest race of my career!!". The same thing happened last year before state cross country, and I ended the season disappointed, I was determined to not let that happen again. I popped advil, drank water mixed with a silver electrolyte solution, and popped my Total Virex and Total Multiimmune. My mom works for a chiropractor, so I have a lot of homeopathic vitamins that I only take when I'm sick, and they kick butt. By friday, I woke up feverless and happy, but I wasn't sure if my illness would still cause me to crash in the race with lack of energy. I simply hoped for the best, ate good, and stayed hydrated. My race on Saturday did not go as I planned, I got beat by a former rival from High school who I didnt want to lose to. I moved very well in the first half of the race, but crashed in the second half. Oddly enough, I finished 8th on the team!!! I beat guys I have never beaten before!!! And I don't feel like it was a good race!!! Even though I did not finish how I wanted, I still finished well, and recieved multiple "good jobs" from teamates. The problem was that the rest of the team did not do so well, with our best runner dropping out with breathing issues and the rest of the guys turning in bad races. We finished 5th as a team, and Luther swept the conference on both the guys and girls side. Watching Luther accept all the awards, and seeing how close the team came to winning the whole thing just got me angry. I understand that my role as a freshman was not to be a varsity runner, but I was still disappointed, I want to win more than ever now. I do not want to sit through another meet like that. Now that I have a season under my belt, I know what I have to do to help this team make that happen. Next year, I will be able to handle way more miles than I did this summer, and I will be able to make the jump from good runner, to great one. My body is pretty much wasted from the season, but now that I have survived my body is stronger, and when I get some much needed time off my legs are gonna be ready to rock once again. I'm hungrier than ever to get faster and to achieve my goals. Through the last couple weeks, I corrected my form, making my pace faster and far more efficient, unfortunetly, my body was not used to the form, and my lower legs suffered as a result. The last couple weeks my legs have hurt more and more. But once I strengthen the muscles, and get used to my new form, I will be much faster. I know what I have to do, and I know what I want to achieve. I'm in a fantastic position right now, I survived the freshmen season with no injuries, I corrected my form, I ran through pain and soreness to one of my best performances all year, and I learned how to train properly. This winter is going to be the best winter of my career, I will train harder than I've ever trained, I will push myself harder than ever, I will settle in to my new form, I will gain back the speed I had at the end of track last year at the blue oval, and when I hit the track in February, I will be able to contribute to Wartburg Track and Field!!!

Good to be home...

This weekend I went home for the first time this year and it was fantastic. It felt great to be able to leave college, go home, and just relax for two days without worrying about school, cross country, or anything else that stresses me out at college. It was nice to see my brother, my two dogs, and eat some of my mom's awesome cooking. I havent had a steak that big in months, and it tasted great!!! It was also a good time to meet up with my running bud from high school and get in a fast 6. Before I left friday night I was incredibly surprised by my feelings about leaving college, I didnt want to!! This may seem surprising, but this place feels like my home now, and its comfortable and mentally stimulating. I really feel like I accomplish so much while I'm here whereas when I'm at home, I tend to just take it easy and do nothing. While doing nothing is at times good, such as this weekend, it is something that begins to bother me after a length of time. I feel like there are two Dereks, one who lives at home and does very little and the one who is at college and is a whirlwind of activity, work, and accomplishment. Hopefully I can learn to find some balance between my desire to relax at home and my drive to accomplish things while I'm at college. I really feel like I have settled in nicely into college life and I'm really proud of my grades so far. This weekend really helped to let me blow off some steam but I couldnt help but feel giddy once I got back into Waverly, to my room, to my computer, to my college work. While it may seem weird that I was excited to get back to my homework and studying, you have to understand that I am happier when I'm doing something productive. While the occasional lazy day is awesome, over the long haul being a productive individual is far more satisfying.

Social Change Wheel

When the social change wheel was introduced in class I was very interested because the wheel outlines specific methods for involvement within ones community. I was anxious to see where other students and myself fit in to involvement amongst the different methods of involvement. The most surprising aspect of the discussion was the amount of students in the class that had been involved in voting/formal political activities. In my opinion, the most effective way to contribute to direct social change is to voice your opinion by voting and being involved in politics. The individuals we vote into office every year make all the decisions concerning public policy and voting in individuals that will make decisions you agree with is central to democracy. One probable reason for the low number of students who had participated in political activities is probably because of their age. Most of my fellow students are 19 at the most, which means they have had voter eligibility for only a year at most. They still have plenty of time to participate in politics, so maybe their low participation is due more so to time than attitude. Whatever the case, I personally will always look to voting and participation as a path for social change. The one method I will probably never use however is the Direct Action Strategies method. I don't believe in using confrontation or public disobedience as a method of policy change. While I may think this way, I do not disagree with those who do. There are some situations in which Direct Action is necessary, such as in countries with poor leaders and governments, where citizens are not afforded the power they have in America. I see Direct Action as a desperate, last resort to changing public policy. Here in America there are many channels for even one individual to affect public policy, so therefore I feel Direct Action is not as necessary in America when compared with other countries. This does not mean that I look down on others who use Direct Action as a method of social change, I just will not participate in it myself.

Sunday, finally a good one

Ever since my race yesterday, I have been on a roll. My energy levels are up, my mind is focused, and I'm beginning to feel like I did at the start of the year. My great race yesterday appears to have taken me out of the rut I have been in and refocused me towards school. Its also interesting what just a two-hand touch game of football can do to you also. Even that little bit of exercise that I got today helped my mood tremedously. The last couple Sundays have been rest days for me, with no physical exercise whatsoever. Today I went out on a limb and got the blood pumping, and it did wonders for me. I wholeheartedly believe in all the research that says daily exercise can improve mood. When your not exercising, you don't really notice your mood fluctuations but when you do exercise daily, and you take it away, your mood definitely suffers. The time that I lose in college by doing sports gets paid back in dividends when I'm able to be focused on school well into the night. Anybody who says that exercise doesn't do anything for them, hasn't been doing it long enough. If you stay disciplined and make exercise a part of your life, it becomes second nature for you.

Liberal Learning in Biology......FINALLY!!

Over the course of the last couple IS classes we have discovered what Liberal Learning is. Unfortunetly the only class where I feel I have been liberally learning, that is learning solely because I enjoy it, has been during my IS course. But when I was given my "Hot Topics in Biology" assignment for the weekend I was surprised by the requirements. The topic was actually very interesting and the actual homework required me to pretend I was a legitamite doctor for awhile. It was actually enjoyable and reading and researching about the actual topic didn't feel like work, because I actually wanted to learn more about the topic. Even though it is unrealistic to think that all assignments and classes could be like this it surely teaches you to appreciate when a topic comes along that you actually like. Hopefully as I progress through college the classes I take begin to feel more like Liberal Learning. Hopefully once I get through all the required courses and start taking classes that are interesting to me will I really begin to like college. As of now college still feels like work, but assignments such as this one in biology really help to give you a break from the norm.

Animal Dreams Paper

So I sat down today and managed to completely finish my Animal Dreams paper and felt I should reflect on it a little. The topic I chose to write about was the one dealing with the history of the Nicaraguan conflict and how it was portrayed in the book. On my first reading of the book I was completely appaled with how Kingsolver described this conflict and US involvement. I thought to myself "Surely this is exaggerated, this just seems to crazy to be true." After reading the portion of the book dealing with National Guardsmen involvement I was convinced that the events were exaggerated, and I was right. Never has there ever been a reported incident of National Guardsmen gunning down little girls in dresses picking fruit from the sky. Just mentioning it out loud sounds rediculous, and I was not surprised to find that it did not ACTUALLY happen. Granted, Kingsolver's book is a work of Fiction, and she is entitled to interject her opinions into the storyline, but the National Guard? It was far too rediculous to be convincing. I'm willing to except the fact that possibly she has some kind of information that I was unable to find or do not possess that would describe an event such as this, but it is very hard to believe and until I'm shown otherwise I simply will view this part of the book as an opinion section. You have to expect authors to interject some politics or opinion into their stories, but to call the National Guard murderers is something else entirely.

Calc

I can honestly say that the only stressor I have in my life right now is Calculus. Every day I'm working on the online homework and I always get destroyed by it. It is becoming normal for it to take at least 2 hours for me to complete the daily individual homework. Something is up, there is no way I'm the only one having this much trouble. But what do I say to the teacher? "I dont get it!"  "I dont understand it!". Part of the problem is me, I failed to get help earlier in the year when I thought it was easy, now I'm barely understanding what I'm doing half the time and it's frustrating as hell!! I plan on attending every SI session from now on, and hopefully with some hard fought time I can fix this mess I have made. If I tell incoming students anything it will be to go to the SI sessions! Even if the work seems easy in college it can rapidly shift thanks to the pace they move at. Getting left behind in easy, getting caught up is much harder.

To Go Home or Not to Go Home

Every weekend I ask myself this question, "Should I go home this weekend?". The answer has been a resounding "no" for the last couple weekends. I just can't see the point in going home for two days and losing the hard earned routine I have made for myself. I have finally adjusted to my schedule and the workload and don't want to leave for a weekend and then spend monday trying to get back in the swing of things. Don't get me wrong, I really miss my family, friends, dog, town, everything! But going home and seeing them for 48 hours and then coming back here to a load of work just doesn't seem like a fair tradeoff. Thankfully my parents understand completely and have no problem just seeing me for cross country meets. Part of the reason I'm so reluctant to go home is the obligation that I have to my school work. My parents are paying a lot of money for me to be here and the least I can do is hold up my end of the bargain and not let their money go to waste. I have heard that a lot of the friends I had in high school are really having problems adjusting and have been home EVERY weekend. I'm thankful to not be having these issues. The cross country team is basically my family here at Wartburg and the Pre-Med/Bio major coursework is keeping me pretty busy. Another reason why I'm reluctant to go home is really about my own personal pride more than anything. I feel that if I run home to mommy and daddy every weekend then it proves that college is really too much for me to handle and I KNOW this is not the case. I told myself all throughout high school listening to upperclassmen talk about how hard of a time they were having that I would not be one of those kids. I would take what college throws at me and deal with it ON MY OWN! I know that I can be independent and college is a great time to prove to myself that this is true. When I go home, it will be for more of a vacation than anything, a time to relax, hang out with family and friends and tell my college stories. When I go home I will make sure that there is nothing waiting for me when I come back, which will most likely be on a break of some sort. College is a time for me to prove to myself that I can be independent, and I can take what life throws at me. I will solve problems on my own and in the end I will be a better person because of it.

Making up ground

This weekend was probably one of the more stressful weekends I've ever had. In high school there was no such thing as a stressful weekend, but in college my weekends are used to catch up on schoolwork and get ready for another week of classes. This weekend in particular was tough due to the two cross country meets I had to go through. I hate missing classes, and am glad that this is the only time I will for meets. I basically lost all of friday night and most of saturday so I was playing catch-up saturday night and all of today. The hardest thing to organize out of all the workload is the group projects or activities. Dealing with my own work is easy, but scheduling times to meet with groups for group projects is frustrating. I've never been a fan of out of class group projects. Everything seems to take twice as long to get accomplished and becomes more frustrating than if I just did the work myself. Coordinating with others in group projects has always been a weakness of mine, something I hope to change in my time at Wartburg. Dealing with others is a necessary skill and not something to neglect.

On another note, I'am looking forward to this weeks classes. We have our first unit test in Biology and I'am anxious to discover just how hard these tests are. In high school I always heard from other people that a certain class was really hard and then after taking it myself I always discovered they were full of crap. I can't stand it when people tell me I can't handle something. Who are they to tell me what I can't do?! I always enjoyed proving these people wrong by getting an A in the supposedly "hard" class. I learned quickly never to take to heart anything that people say about courses. I prefer to find out for myself and then make a decision rather than rely on other people's opinions. On a lighter note, I'am also looking forward to my IS 101 class. I really enjoy having the group discussions that we are having. It is an extremely unstressful way of learning about the material. I also enjoy voicing my own opinions, and I like hearing from other viewpoints. Overall, it should be a good week, and hopefully I'll have some days to just relax for a bit.

First Animal Dreams Discussion

So it happened, I knew it was coming. We had our first discussion on Animal Dreams. I actually was looking forward to it surprisingly enough. Who would want to spend so much time reading and analyzing a book without giving their two cents about it? The discussion was not what I expected though, Janell split the class into two groups, those who hated the book and those who loved it. I was completely on the fence about this, on one hand, I did not enjoy reading the book but I did find some value in reading and understanding the story. In the end I decided to go with the "lovers" because I actually want to have some useful discussion on the book, and I was right in my decision. The majority of the "haters" seem to have not been able to get past their dislike and don't appear to have read that deeply into it. I can understand where they are coming from (especially the guys), but I just can't see any value in proclaiming that you hated the book. You HAD to read it, you HAVE to participate in discussions about it, so what point is there in holding back? The only thing it's going to do for you is make you clueless and opinionless in discussion. As far as I'm concerned, if I have to read something then I'm going to get everything I can possibly get out of the book, regardless of how much I like it. In all regards, I really just wanted to tell them all to suck it up. We are in college now, if you still are against things solely because you "don't like it" then high school was waaaayyyy too easy on you. Your with the big dogs now, start acting like you belong!

Productive Weekend

It's all starting to come together. For the first week I felt like a chicken with it's head cut off, running around doing homework without a system of organization or finesse. Things have certainly changed. I have made great use out of the sticky note and planner and have organized myself so I know exactly what I need to do and when it is do. I'm a planner by nature, and enjoy knowing exactly what the week has in store for me. The biggest roadblock for me in high school was procrastination. But since coming to college I have cut out all distractions besides cross country and school. With less things to distract me, it is much easier to turn my boredom into productive lengths of time. My biggest fear will always remain the thing that eludes me though. I hated coming into class in high school and realizing that there was some assignment that was due that day. I still come into college classes where I know nothing is due but I find myself asking all my friends anyway. Hopefully through repitition I will become a little more confident in myself as a student, and stress out a little less. Stressing over school work has it's benefits, you usually remember 90% of what you have to do, but it also just wears you down. Usually by 3:30 I'm completely mentally exhausted and ready for a nap. If not for cross country at 4:00, I would probably have trouble finding motivation to do anything the rest of the night. Cross country has a way of clearing your mind and recharging you for the rest of the night. It's funny because thats not how most people would imagine running 10 miles, as a recharge tool, but it does exactly that. Bouncing between cross country and school (two things that require all my focus) is difficult at times, but the benefits it provides and the learning experiences I will gain will be invaluable to me in my future endeavors. Another thing that kind of has me worried is what my grades are going to look like after this week. I feel like I have done quality work, but it is so hard to read the teacher's expectations this early in the game. In high school, those first papers always seemed to not get the grade I wanted, but they served as a guide to how I need to improve. Hopefully I'll get some good feedback from my teachers this week. Even if the work doesn't reach my teachers' expectations I hope they tell me why, the very worst thing to do would be to just say it was bad and not give me tips on making it better. As I said before, these first grades help me decide where I need to go from here, even if they are a small portion of my grade.

Jurassic Park Paper

Today my entire focus was centered on doing one thing, my jurassic park paper. I knew that if I got that done then the rest of the weekend would be manageable, with all my other assignments falling into place on Sunday. The paper was the only MAJOR assignment I had, and I knew it would take some time to complete. Starting yesterday, I prepared for this paper, organizing my thoughts into what I was going to write, what my sources would be, my main points, EVERYTHING. Thats how I write papers, in the days and hours before I actually start the ideas cycle through my head like a merry go round. The problem is getting all those sentences and statements to blend into something people can actually read. I have no problem SAYING what I'm talking about, but writing it down properly has always been a weakness of mine. Thanks to the preparation however I was able to knock the paper off the old checklist by 4:00 today, but what has me so irked is how I feel now that its done. I have nothing else I have to do today or tonight, I'm completely free to do whatever I desire, but the problem is that I have no desire to do ANYTHING. It is now just after 8 as I write this blog and I could go to bed RIGHT NOW. For some strange reason I'm hit by this horrible apathy. I spent most of the morning staring at the computer with my notes and sources spread out on the floor, knowing what I had to accomplish, and now I can't think of anything. The major problem I think is that all I could think of when I imagined this day is that darn paper, and now that it's done, I can't think of anything else I want to do. It has been affecting me all day, even when I'm sitting at lunch with my cross country buds, I can't think of a single thing to say, it's bothering the hell out of me. Maybe it's just the stress of college getting to me a little bit, or maybe the fact that today was my day off from running. Even during the summer I was never the same on my days off and maybe thats whats affecting me. From now on, I'm going to try doing SOME form of physical exercise on my off days. I've heard stories of athletes behaving weird on days off, perhaps just doing SOMETHING physical will make sure days like this don't happen again. As for tonight though..........I got nothing.

1st week done

Wellllll it is finally done. I survived the first week of college and am not failing any classes to the best of my knowledge. The weekend was a great time to recharge, run a great race on Saturday and get over this cold I've been battling. I haven't been sick in quite a while so this is extremely frustrating for me. I can't wait to start labs this week and I'm looking forward to a good week of practice considering we don't have a meet this weekend. Overall, college has been challenging but not impossible and I look forward to what the rest of the year has in store for me.